We have 3 teens/tween in the house now, so needless to say, Mom and Dad aren’t too cool anymore. As much as it hurts to admit it, we are indeed “old” now – we dress weird, we talk weird, we even listen to weird music (all according to them, anyway). In their minds, being around Mom and Dad is just…WEIRD. They also think it’s just weird to travel with us. I mean, it’s embarrassing enough for them to be seen with us around town; now they have to be seen with us around the COUNTRY! Add the fact that they have every electronic device known to modern man, and traveling in general just seems boring to them, despite having been to a lot of really cool places (places to which I only ever dreamed of going up until the last couple of years).

In fact, they actually had the gull to have an “intervention” with us, telling us we had a “traveling problem” and we are on the road way too much (the nerve of them!!). To be honest, I wanted to smack each of them upside the head (which is probably frowned upon, so I didn’t, but MAN did I want to…). That’s when I threw my hands in the air and said, “Fine! You guys can just stay home from now on while me and your dad go travel!”

I mean, it IS cheaper, and can be more fun than hearing, “Where is my phone charger?” for the millionth time!

Then I started thinking, “We’re letting them off the hook too easily,” and I began cooking up ideas.

One idea I had was to threaten them with full-time travel as a “punishment.” When the boys were little and they acted up, I would threaten them with either a trip to Hobby Lobby or a trip to the thrift store (which they all knew I could easily browse for days). Almost immediatey, they would straighten up. They absolutely did NOT want to follow me around some store. What if I use that same approach here. I mean, I would get a treat when they act up and they would get punished!

But before getting too far with that idea, I actually stoped and thought about it more and realized that “punishment” would defeat the whole purpose of helping them ENJOY our adventures. They already act as if they’re miserable while traveling; why add to it? We only have a few summers left with them (the thought of which always makes me tear up), and I want to actually have fun.

Then I thought back to earlier this summer… We went on three different trips this past year where one of our sons wasn’t with us due to scheduling conflicts with sports or events with friends. I thought about how it was still fun, but also how the two that DID come got along much better (the whole two’s company, threes a crowd thingk which I’ve been saying to myself ever since our youngest one was born).

So I thought, “What if we take this a step further?”

I used to LOVE when my youngest was in preschool and we’d have those special Friday’s where we’d go catch a movie or go to the museum, or before the other two were born and it was just me and Red, and we’d go to the zoo or on a play date. What if we gave each of them a special trip just me and Kyle and that kid – their own personal vacation to let them experience being an only child for a short time. Not only would it give us a chance to bond with them personally, but it would let us as parents take the time to really see and immerse ourselves into what makes each of them unique and special – their own passions and dreams.

It just so happened that the Lippert Getaway – an event we’d been planning to attend for quite a while – just happened to take place on the week of Alec’s 13th birthday. Since he’s homeschooled (our other two are adamant about remaining in public school), we thought, “Why don’t we take him with us and treat him to a special week where he had us all to himself?”. We even picked a special activity and did that on the way down to Georgia.

And you know what? It was fan-freakin’-tastic! He got an opportunity to make some new friends all on his own without worrying about whether his brothers were going to butt in or give him a hard time (again, three boys…). He started to open up a lot more to us as well, and we could tell he felt special. Appreciated. Like an individual. He got that one-on-one attention that is so often missed when we are deal with “the kids.”

Whether we realize it or not, as parents, it’s so easy to just lump our kids all together and treat them as one unit. “Where are the kids?” “What are the kids doing?” “What do you the kids want for dinner?” It’s not each person; it’s “the kids.” After a while, “the kids” becomes an unofficial gang, and eventually, that gang may start to realize that they have power in numbers, and “the kids” start to exert that power against Mom and Dad, especially when they decide they aren’t 100% on board with a particular trip (or traveling with us in general). By shifting our focus from “the kids” to EACH kid, we allow them to become part of the process and not just dragged along for the ride.

If you are part-timers like us and are struggling to get your kids on board with more traveling, I highly recommend trying this out with your kids at least once a year. You don’t have to take them on a huge vacation; it can something as simple as sending the other kids off for a weekend to the grandparents, or going on a mini weekend getaway. Heck, you could even take a tent to your local campground. Just so long as each child gets some individual time with their parents. It really helps you to get to know your child as an individual instead of just one of the kids, and it makes it just so much more enjoyable.

Of course, this is just ONE suggestion. Not every family is the same, so it’s best to do what works for YOUR family. What are some ideas you’ve tried with your kids who might be having the same hesitancy with traveling more?